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Yesterday

Yesterday I was trying to knit a baby bootie sock. I ended up frogging it. Then I tried to use the same yarn for a baby boy burial gown. Screwed it up. Rippit, Then I started crocheting a baby cap. It didn't turn out either, but not in the way of its earlier amphibian-ized ancestors.

It became a chemo cap instead.

I've never made one of those before. I've thought about it but never actually did it. It was fun. Oh, not quite as speedy as a baby or preemie cap but still fast enough. I used Lily Sugar Babies cotton in "Baby Blue." It's a nice cotton, thinner then the cones at Walmart and it seems softer. Of course, seeing as it calls itself 'baby cotton' it had better be soft!

The hook I used was my pretty turquoise-colored metal hook that it seems like I have had forever, losing now and then but always finding it again so it can help me turn out more useful items.

I plan to call the cancer center at Luther Midelfort today and ask if they would be interested in some chemo caps. If not, I guess I'll find another cancer treatment facility that will.

There could be a reason for my crafting difficulty yesterday. Allen visited and brought upsetting news. Bear is no longer with us. Allen finally put him down, after a rather lengthy illness.

I knew he needed to be put to sleep, we even provided the means for him to do it. Sill, the thought of Bear no longer being there to greet us, tail wagging, is a very hard reality to accept.

Of course, many things had already been changed by his illness. The most noticeable for a long time was it blinded him. We thought the end would be about two months ago, after he went blind he stopped eating. Allen was persistent, though, and got him back on his food using love, determination and lots of turkey bacon. For a while he was nearly his old self, but it didn't last. He began to decline again after a while, until he was unable to walk and he ate or drank very little. He was suffering, Yesterday his suffering ended.

I type that and even though I am glad he is no longer in pain, and I am relieved of the worry about him, I sob for my baby Bear.







Bear enjoyed having his picture taken, as you can see from the top photo he liked the camera.

In the middle photo you can see the body in the background. It was a teddy bear, he liked playing with stuffed animals. We decapitated more than a few playing tug-of-war.

He didn't care for strangers, but he adored his people above anything.

Rest in peace Baby Bear, Mommy loves you.

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