I don't know yet how this baby is going to come into this world. I don't know if I will labor and push him out like I did his big brother, or if I will be spread-eagle on a table while a doctor cuts into my body and removes him like his big sister was born. Either way, I hope I can bring him home, and I also hope the birth is as close to perfect as circumstances allow. Wait, perfect? Yes, perfect. My perfect birth would be a combination of the two births above. I would prefer to push him out, scoop him up and hold him, listen to his first cry. I pushed Freddy out, I scooped him out of the water, but he did not cry. It has been over a year and the sound of a newborn cry is the hardest thing for me to hear, because I'm still waiting for the one that never came, and as much as I want to respond the cries I have heard, they aren't for me to answer. I heard Tiri cry, but I didn't meet her for almost a half a day after she was born. I saw her, but only flashes, glimps...