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Showing posts from December, 2013

Time Keeps On

It's been 9 days since I met my little boy, and found out that I wouldn't get to take him home. In that time I've experienced many feelings and emotions, some of them familiar (I've laid my mom to rest, so grief isn't new to me) and some of them brand new.

My biggest companions right now are sadness, guilt, depression and frustration. I know I'll be dealing with these feelings for a long time, even though I can try to rationalize away the guilt (it's not my fault he died, I wasn't selfish for electing to try vaginal birth instead of going for the planned C-section, babies were *meant* to be born vaginally, etc. etc.)

I am still knitting, though I'm sure some would say I shouldn't. I need to keep my hands busy, and my hooks and needles have been my companions for a long time. I've made a few things since we lost Freddy, small things. I also started a blanket that I intend to donate to the hospital where Freddy was taken. They wrapped Freddy i…

Our Baby

Jerek Alfred, our baby Freddy, was stillborn on December 10th after a successful (in every way than there being a baby for me to take home) VBAC that went wrong in the last couple of minutes with one of those little things that can happen to anyone. It wasn't my fault, or the midwife's. He was perfect in every way.

Making Mittens

I am strange. Now, if you really do know me, this is a "duh" statement, but really. I am talking about something specific right now.

I knit, a lot. And crochet. I make hats and scarves and various other things and I'm pretty good at it, or so I like to think. I have a big problem with one type of project though. I am not a mitten maker.

It's not that I don't want to be a mitten maker. I do. I've tried I don't know how many times, and I've managed to make a few lonely single mittens. I have never made a pair, however. I keep trying though, because there is something about mittens that seems so... so... knitterly.

I may finally be on the right track tonight.

It is the progression of a mitten. This is the pattern, Stashbuster Kids Charity Mittens. It uses double stranded worsted weight and size 10 needles, and the size I am making is only 24 stitches a round. That is not too bad!

I don't want to put the thumb on yet, because I want to make both thumb…