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Dear Farmers

I have an open letter that I would like to share.

"Dear Farmers,

I am a stay at home mother of an 8 month old daughter. We live in an apartment in a town with no park, no library, and nowhere a woman who is hanging onto her last nerve by a stand of laceweight yarn can go to help take the edge off. My daughter recently grew two teeth at once, and is contemplating adding a few more to her collection. My husband works for a co-op, hauling seed and other things that farmers use. He works everyday of the week, taking the car with him each day.

I wait for the weekends like a drunk waits for the bartender to set him up with his first shot. I am released from captivity, if only to go to Walmart and ogle the yarns. (I am a knitter, yarn is a fascinating topic for me. Possibly you would find the equivalent in plows.) Usually on the weekends I go nowhere special, other than a little grocery shopping and maybe a skein or two of yarn 'accidently' drops into my cart. Sometimes I get to go to the yarn shop. This is a thrilling event, as I would imagine going to a John Deere store would be for you (although admittedly, I do have a thing for tractors myself.)

I don't usually plan much. Getting out of the house usually is enough to get my boat floating pretty high. This weekend, though, I did plan something. 

At the yarn shop, there was an event planned. There was an author coming, the lady who wrote a book I have enjoyed for several years, one Betty Christiansen. She wrote Knitting for Peace, a book that inspires and excites me to no end as I am a charity knitter 99% of the time. There was also going to be coffee and muffins and a Q & A session. I had never been to anything like this, never dreamed I would have the chance. Till I got the May Yarnology newsletter and there was the announcement. 

I was excited. 

It turns out I was better off not dreaming, as when one doesn't think something is possible for them, they are not disappointed when it doesn't happen. 

This, farmers, is where you come in. 

I mentioned above that I have an 8 month old daughter. In the eight months since she was born, I have learned many things. I know how many diapers and wipes I need for a given day, I know how long a case lasts and I know when I need to buy more in order to have enough for the coming transportationless week. In the last two months since she started eating it, I have learned how to plan ahead with how much baby food is needed and procure it as well. I think that is a pretty good track record, especially considering sleep and I are now more like passing acquaintances than nightly companions. 

If I can do all that, surely you, dear farmers, could think in advance and order your seed and fertilizer more than a day before you need it. You see, one of your esteemed numbers ordered what he needed yesterday, causing my husband to have to go to work today and causing me to have to miss my much-anticipated event. 

That is not all. This farmer is not the only one who fails to operate with ten minutes worth of foresight. Most farmers have been doing this a while, I would think. So, why then are you waiting until the second week of May to order what you knew you would need since last fall? If not before?? Surely some of you could have ordered it last week or the week before. It's not like spring is one of those things that sneaks up on you, leaving you running about with your hands over your heads shouting "OMG! It's May! How did that happen? When I sat down with my coffee it was only December! Need seed! Need fert! Must plant! OMG!"

A special note to the farmer that asked Jerek if they work Sundays: If you get him to work Sunday, he won't be working Monday because he will be taking care of his daughter while I am being fitted for a neat new coat. 

There is something that no one seems to understand. They do not own my husband. I own him, I have the paperwork to prove it. He is only rented to any of you. Probably you shouldn't piss off his management. Remember, I knit. I have a whole bunch of pointy sticks.




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